What Is Unschooling?
A soft beginning for something slow, steady, and full of wonder. 🕊️
🌱 An Introduction to Unschooling
I’ve been thinking about the idea of unschooling for a while now. I knew I wanted to homeschool, mostly because I desperately wanted to be with my children — to live these early years together, side by side. But I also felt that if I was going to recreate school at home, it would be pointless. If that were the case, why wouldn’t I return to work as a teacher, contribute financially, and send my children to school to learn alongside friends?
Somewhere along the way, I started quietly asking myself: What if learning didn’t have to look like school?
What if we trusted that children already come into the world with an innate desire to learn — a deep curiosity about the world around them, a hunger to understand, to explore, to become?
🐛 A Natural Desire to Learn
Children are born wanting to learn. To explore. To become. They want to figure out their place in the world. They want to be like adults they love and admire — to participate in what we’re doing, to be helpful, to belong. Learning isn’t something we have to inject into them; it’s something they move toward naturally when they feel safe and supported.
But in school — especially when they’re very young — children aren’t usually learning from the people they’re most bonded to. Sometimes they love their teachers, but sometimes they don’t. And even when they do, so much of the beginning of the year is spent trying to establish that connection — a connection that already exists at home. It’s a lot of time and energy poured into building something from scratch, when that time could be spent with the people who already know and love them. And when that bond isn’t there, it’s much harder for children to care about what the teacher cares about. It’s harder to want to listen, to imitate, to follow — because we learn best from the people we trust.
📚 What Unschooling Is
Simply put, unschooling is a way of learning that trusts the natural curiosity of the child. It’s not about replicating school at home — it’s about letting life be the learning. There’s no set curriculum, no worksheets unless the child wants them, no pressure to meet benchmarks at a certain time. Instead of the child following a system, the parent follows the child.
Unschooling can often make people uncomfortable. It tends to be misunderstood. But unschooling isn’t a hands-off approach. It’s deeply relational. It asks a lot from the parent. It requires presence, flexibility, and a willingness to let go of control. It asks you to be attentive — to watch your child closely and to know them well. To support them as they chase questions and passions.
It’s a deep unfolding trust that the child is learning all the time — and that the parent can learn in the process alongside them.
It means noticing what sparks your child’s interest and helping them dive deeper. It means accepting that there are no pre-made structured guidelines to follow or evaluations to complete. It means understanding that real learning is not always measurable — and that it does not look the same for everybody.
💭 What’s Actually Necessary? (And Honoring Motivation)
I often think about how much of the standard curriculum is irrelevant to everyday life. The world is rapidly evolving, and the education system is struggling to keep up — not because teachers don’t care, but because the structure itself is too rigid.
What each person needs is different. A child who becomes a doctor may need a strong foundation in science. A child who becomes a sculptor may never need to solve a chemistry equation. And yet, we treat all children as though they’ll need everything. We expect them all to absorb the same information at the same time, in the same way — regardless of who they are, what lights them up, or where their strengths lie.
At the same time, we rarely stop to ask why a child might be resisting something. If a child hates math in grade two, they probably won’t suddenly love it in grade twelve. And if they’re forced to memorize material they don’t care about, they might retain just enough to pass a test — but they won’t own it. They won’t carry it forward in any meaningful way.
That doesn’t mean we never introduce them to new or unfamiliar things. But it does mean we should take their motivation seriously. We can offer, invite, and support — but we don’t have to pressure, bribe, or coerce.
When learning is rooted in relevance and respect, it has a much better chance of lasting. Because when we trust that children are capable of knowing themselves — even just a little — we create space for learning that actually sticks. Learning that matters. Learning that belongs to them.
🍞 Learning by Living
In unschooling, real life is the classroom — and life is rich with opportunities to learn. Children pick up math by helping us bake: measuring flour, dividing muffins, doubling a recipe. They learn about science by digging in the dirt, watching a seed grow, or asking about the trees or the birds. They begin to read because they want to write a birthday card, they are curious about sign on the side of the road, or they want to understand their favourite bedtime story.
When learning is rooted in everyday experiences, it feels meaningful — because it is meaningful. It’s relevant. It sticks. And because they’re learning through doing, not just being told, the knowledge becomes their own.
Unschooling doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means doing real things, together — and trusting that those moments are full of learning already.
🌸 Why It Resonates
I’ve always believed that childhood doesn’t need to be rushed. That children are capable and whole as they are. That being a child is not preparation for life — it is life.
Unschooling doesn’t mean I’ll never teach my children anything. Of course they’ll learn to read, to write, to understand numbers. It also doesn’t mean I hand over all decision-making or let them do whatever they want.
There are gentle ways to introduce new ideas — to spark interest in something they might not have discovered on their own. As adults, we can model curiosity, share what we love, and create an environment that invites learning without demanding it.
What it does mean is that I want their curiosity to stay alive. I want learning to feel like life — not something separate, scheduled, or forced. I want to trust them to know themselves, at least a little. And I want to trust myself, too.
🪷 Still Learning
We are only at the beginning of our journey — holding in our hearts grace, gentleness, humility, curiosity, and a willingness to see with new eyes.
I’m not writing this because I have all the answers, but because I want to remember the questions. Because I believe that how we learn matters just as much as what we learn.
We’re still figuring it out. But for now, we’re following each other. And that feels like a good place to start.
Unschooling aligns with the way we want to live as a family: slowly, grounded, more connected. It’s not just a way of educating — it’s a way of being.
And somehow, it feels like home.
✨ Want to keep walking this path together?
Subscribe below if you’d like to receive gentle reflections on slow motherhood, unschooling, and family life — right in your inbox.
💌 And feel free to reply — I’d love to know what brought you here.